I never told you that if you texted me after I’d been on dates with other guys, I would leave them kissless on the sidewalk just so I could meet up with you. I never told you that I try to wear things you like, that I try to be unaffected and sexy, and that I literally do not have any idea how to be something you miss. I never told you that the last person in my life never loved me, and I did not know how to change that. I never told you that I am a chaser and a runner, all at once.
I never told you that when you texted me after you stood me up and said, “I could really use your company,” it ripped my heart out. I never told you that using me as an emotional security blanket has been more taxing on my spirit than anything else I’ve ever known. I never told you that I am exhausted because I am constantly worrying about you.
I never told you that all I ever wanted was to be with you, to be yours. I never fought for my right to be your girlfriend, or put myself on the table as an option. I could never mention that I’m the right choice, because I have a serious fear of rejection. I will never let you know that I’ve felt rejected by you since the day we met. I never told you that when you drink, you can either tell me I’m the most beautiful girl in the world or that you think I’m pathetic.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that there are a lot of things I could have said to prevent getting to this point. I could have been more honest, more open, a little more cruel. I could have stood up for myself a little bit, held my ground and walked away. I could have been a little bigger, stronger… but I am not that person. I am not able to hurt people if they deserve it, because I don’t think anyone deserves it. I am not that person."